The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

[David B.]

Have you ever been working on your 'Vette and sensed that it was messing with your mind? Have you ever been shredding the skin on your knuckles trying to get a bolt to catch a thread only to have it squirt from your sweaty, greasy fingers and roll into some inaccessible crevice elsewhere on the car? Have you ever spent an hour fabricating a one-of-a-kind tool to accomplish a simple task that ST-12 never mentions? Why do "10-minute" jobs sometimes take two-to-three hours? Know what I mean?

I just spent some serious wrenching time this past week doing a number of "straightforward and simple" tasks under my '58. I think I burned more calories getting them done than I did training for the Boston Marathon, while loudly verbalizing a comprehensive update to the Official U.S. Navy Cursing & Swearing Manual.

Guys, do your 'Vettes fight you and snicker when that bolt disappears or when the wrench slips and you smash your knuckles? You've gotta have some great war stories to share.

Dave

[Michael H.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

Have you ever been working on your 'Vette and sensed that it was messing with your mind? Have you ever been shredding the skin on your knuckles trying to get a bolt to catch a thread only to have it squirt from your sweaty, greasy fingers and roll into some inaccessible crevice elsewhere on the car? Have you ever spent an hour fabricating a one-of-a-kind tool to accomplish a simple task that ST-12 never mentions? Why do "10-minute" jobs sometimes take two-to-three hours? Know what I mean?

I just spent some serious wrenching time this past week doing a number of "straightforward and simple" tasks under my '58. I think I burned more calories getting them done than I did training for the Boston Marathon, while loudly verbalizing a comprehensive update to the Official U.S. Navy Cursing & Swearing Manual.

Guys, do your 'Vettes fight you and snicker when that bolt disappears or when the wrench slips and you smash your knuckles? You've gotta have some great war stories to share.

Dave

When my day in the garage is going in that direction, I leave the project for another day. Some days cars just don't want to participate in a project.

[William L.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

I have found that some days I go out to the shop and I can do no wrong and the time just flies by. It's the best hobby there is.
And then there are the days that nothing goes right. On those days I try and stop before I screw something up. I like to sit back look at the the Vett and have a nice ice cold beverage of my choice!!
Bill

[John W.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

Any words you would like to give to the engineer who put the ignition shielding wing bolts behind and under the generator and auxilary tank on the C1.

[Dick W.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

Dave, I have been pulling wrenches.on my vehicles for about 50 years. Trust me, nuttin' is as simple as it seems

[Bill B.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects



Patients are a virtue.

Bill

[Gary B.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

When I am working on a difficult/frustrating job I stop what I am doing and sleep on it.
In the middle of the night I get an idea and it usually works the next day.

When I was working on my `62s exhaust I was having a problem. Got an idea during the night. And my wife found me early the next morning in the garage working on it. It all worked out well.

[David B.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

Excellent wisdom, guys. I tend to agree with the "sleep on it" approach. My best recoveries from frustrating dead ends have generally come after I honestly admit that I'm outta gas for the day, so I do a nice slow cleanup, wash up, have a cold one, and then relax the rest of the night. When I get up in the morning, I have renewed energy and, usually, a refreshed perspective on the problem.

Like Gary notes, sometimes during the night, my brain will come up with an answer while I sleep. Funny how the brain can see through the noise once we stop blinding it with our angst and anger.

[Steven B.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

In the mid 60's I was having a real bad time setting the carbs on the '57. After a flame jumped out of the back carb and singed my eyebrows and hair I took a break and walked around to the front of the car. (This was after breaking a couple of nuts loose with my bar and replacing a return spring that jumped from the linkage and allowed the 283 to go past red line and not come back.) Anyway, when I walked around to the front I saw 13 bright chrome teeth snickering at me . I walked back to the driver seat and gently sat down, grabbing the Vette by its short chrome shifter. Then I whispered in a very calm voice "you )(&%#&^$*&% **$#)*)(* if you don't change your (&*(@## attitude and )*^^$@! cooperate with me I will pull your *&*% crank, *^^&$* in your carbs, set your timing to -10, bend your tach needle and flatten your ^***&@! tires and you will spend the rest of your life in this (*&^&$@ garage after I fill your ^^%#$!^%# tank with &^$!% regular!!!" Then I cleaned up the puddle under the differential. I guess I scared it becaues since that time all has gone pretty well except for a few hiccups, but nothing serious. I guess the Dog Whisperer got "calm assertiveness" from working on his car, too.

[Stan E.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

I r&r'd my 4 speed 7 times just after receiving a Duntov. It made me so angry that I last drove that old Chevy junk 4 years ago and could care less if I ever do again.

[Cecil L.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

Yes, Murphy is alive and well.
Applies to airplanes too!
Last Friday was one those Murphy days.

I was adjusting the idle mixture on the new carb on the T-28 and stabbed a piece of safety wire about a 1/2 inch into my thumb. After getting down off the ladder cussing, while heading to the other side of the hangar to get something to stop the bleeding, I walked into the prop blade and hit so hard I heard something crack. ...Don't know if it was my skull or just my teeth cracking together from the impact. I must not have any peripheral vision left.
Following that, the wrench slipped while removing a spark plug and the palm of my hand impaled itself on a pointy cowling latch. I finally gave up trying to kill myself and decided to head for the safety of home.
Naturally, my wife wanted me to trim some dead limbs from the citrus trees, so I got my trusty chainsaw and climbed the ladder and cut a big dead branch which, of course, fell and hit me on the head putting a hole in my bald spot (which, as you might guess, is rather large).

I think I'll just stay away from any tools or sharp objects while I heal.

My head hurts.

[David B.]

Re: The Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects

Yesterday, I was trying to catch a thread on the bolt that goes into the block for my starter brace. The space available was just barely big enough to accommodate one hand, but I had to work by feel with my index finger to find the hole. My other fingers were holding the bolt and washer in the brace hole while gravity did its best to pull it out.

Finally, after about 20 minutes of upper-body contortions, and just as my sweaty, greasy finger found the hole and I started to turn the bolt, the back of my hand was stabbed by the pinpoint-sharp edge of a nylon tie strap that was bundling some wires above the starter. If someone had paid me a thousand bucks to make this task any harder, I couldn't have dreamed up a better painful punishment than this pointy piece of plastic. So, I jerked my now-punctured hand outta there and the bolt, washer, and brace fell on my face, adding an exclamation point to my high-volume, colorful comments.

I knew I was on the verge of wrecking something out of rage, so I wiggled out from under my '58 and took a long breather to collect my wits. Later, after my agony subsided, I went back under and finished the job, but not until I had to invent a tool to tighten down the block bolt. Are we having fun yet?